It’s been ages since I posted. When I started this site, I had high hopes of posting my Proverbs 31 journey. But what does a single woman, completely invisible to men, know about being a noble wife? Absolutely nothing. Heck, I don’t even know how to thrive at being a single woman. The media keeps giving me mixed signals of who I should be. While the church thinks I should be a wife. So I spent the past year of my life severely depressed – stuck in this identity prison, stripped of any joy that I ever had, trying to just make it through each day… Alone.
As a Christian, I’m not allowed to complain, but I’m also not allowed to keep it bottled up. I’m supposed to focus on all I’m grateful for, and all the bad stuff will eventually disappear. Well after 152 days of doing that, guess what? I’m still anxious. I still battle with depression, but those days are fewer and farther between. It’s hard to find something to be grateful for on those bad days, but I do it anyway. It makes me that much more grateful for that one thing.
When I reflect on where I was this time last year, and where I am now, I think about Paul’s statement to the Corinthians that we only know part of the story, but one day we will know the whole thing, just as we are all currently fully known by the Storyteller. Oh how I wish I knew the big picture, but do I really? I mean, I don’t like spoilers in any story…
Proverbs 31:25 says that “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.” So let’s armor up, and look forward to what’s ahead, instead of living in the dark spots of our past.